Dexter Grif
Grif realistic










Portal Gun, Battle Rifle, "Grif" Shot




Simulation Red Team (former), Adventure Group

"Welp, I got shot, got my head cut off, shot again, burned to death, and got caught in half a dozen traps. Oh and stabbed, can't forget being stabbed. Yoko made Ellora turn her into an immortal too, and now Ellora is taking most of the immortality curse. And the US sent us a recruit that likes to yell at us in foreign languages. Let's see... oh and I got shot at while shopping too, became part of a terrorist hostage scenario, and my dog apparently learned how to talk. And someone let all these invisible insurrectionists in the house. Oh and Yuki and Yuno's evil verse counterparts attacked, Church kept showing up, and a crossdressing boy scout showed up too. Yeah apparently I got promoted to 'Babysitter that has to deal with all of this'."
- Grif having a bad day.

Dexter Grif is the current identity of a 45,000+ year old man. He was is a member of the fake Red Team, and took an "extended vacation" upon helping defeat the Meta. During this vacation, Grif has wandered around with a Battle Rifle, traffic cone, portal gun, sonic screwdriver, many sandwiches, and a cardboard box. He tried to become a pickpocket, but failed miserably. During the day, Grif can be found crashing parties and showing up in various places uninvited and unwanted. At night, he sleeps in a cardboard box. While Grif is not excellent at hand to hand combat, he can use his Battle Rifle decently. He has a sister, who has been missing and presumed dead, and an evil twin brother, Girf, but due to Grif being an immortal who has taken many forms, their origins are unexplained. He eventually found himself part of the adventure team with Marq, Blair, Evo, Yoko, Church, and others.


Due to his horrible life, and streak of bad luck, Grif had become very sarcastic and heartless. Having gone his whole life without being cared about has left Grif with no compassion toward others or the desire to help others. He was also very crude and blunt, speaking whatever was on his mind without caring what others may think. Grif was also a heavy drinker and somewhat perverted. However, he is very capable of holding his liquor and rarely gets too drunk, much to his disappointment. He also is quite harsh due to being unable to die after 45,000 years of life and countless identities that he has forgotten over time.

However, he more or less sobered up once he began his secret relationship with Yoko, and by the time they were straightforward about their relationship, Grif became surprisingly dependable. Between his relationship, missions with the Adventure Group, and employment by a mysterious group, Grif found himself having something to live for, and began returning to a more natural personality. His personality is now more of a sarcastic deadpan snarker. His experiences and regained common sense have made him quite genre savvy and often the lancer of the team. He is often exasperated with the fact that he finds himself to be the only sane man in many situations. However, he was still heartless to most people for a long time, openly supporting the idea to kill people causing him trouble. It wasn't until he found out that he wasn't one who had killed billions of people in an instant that he was finally able to view himself as a good person. He is now torn between wanting to stay at home with his family and helping save the galaxy from various crises, a task that he is less reluctant to than he admits.


See subpage.

Accomplishments and Abilities

The closest thing Grif had to an accomplishment prior to taking his "vacation" from the Red Army was helping defeat the Meta, an event in which he was almost killed as well. Afterwards, he has gone on many adventures, and while not accomplishing much himself, he has helped his teammates be successful many times.

Grif managed to create an Artificial Spirit, and gained the ability to use basic magic, though lacks the ability to do anything remarkable with it.

Grif is also pretty capable in combat, and while not being able to do superhuman feats, is a rather good shot, and is decent in physical combat, although he is often overpowered by the super-human enemies he often finds himself against. He also unknowingly gained the ability to manipulate computer systems due to the time he spent with Simmons in the Red Army, but is far from an expert hacker.

Grif is surprisingly good at handling crises and is an excellent naval commander, as shown by his time on the Daedalus.


Grif is apparently unable to remain dead, and eventually reawakens after being killed. The first two known occasions of this are him being killed by Zant, and being killed by the Zora. A more extreme case of this was when he was in a base that exploded, and he awoke naked in the bottom of a crater a couple hours later. While dead, he has occasionally had various abilities similar to those of a ghost. Despite inventing excuses for his first two deaths, he now has explained his situation to others in the hope of finding a solution. A possible solution was ripped away from him when Ellora sacrificed herself to save Grif from a permanent death, though after Ellora returned, it was revealed that it wouldn't have worked. Ellora was later able to take a majority of the immortality curse herself, leaving Grif with 700 more years of immortality left.

It was later revealed that Grif's immortality had a purpose. Grif was created as a shell to imprison a highly powerful being tens of thousands of years ago after it had killed billions with a single action, an act Grif had misremembered as being his own. Ellora's actions had destabilized the immortality, causing the being to begin to escape and manifest itself in the physical realm again. After the being was trapped in a sealed alternate reality, Grif was brought back to life by the race that created him, and he and Yoko were given a new immortality as a reward, with the ability to end it at will.


Though some of Grif's history as a member of the Red Army are known, barely anything before that is. At some point prior to renaming himself Dexter Grif and joining the Red Team, Grif was married and had a daughter. Unfortunately, his daughter died, leading to him separating with his wife due to her blaming him for their loss. Decades later, as she was dying of old age, he visited his ex-wife in the hospital days before her death. Finally agreeing to see him after decades of refusal, she told him that she still blamed him, but that he should move on with life and be happy, a task he couldn't bring himself to do at the time.

After taking a "vacation" from the Red Team, Grif joined the Adventure Group as a drunk, though was fairly useful when sober. It was soon revealed that he had an evil twin brother, Girf. After a few misadventures, he finally revealed that he was immortal, and went on a quest to find a way to die, which ultimately resulted in failure. He soon came into possession of an advanced ship, the Daedalus, which he occasionally used. Around the time he began a secret relationship with Yoko, he sobered up, and quickly became an intelligent, albeit sarcastic and angry, member of the team.

After encountering the Evil Verse versions of him and Yoko, he was kidnapped by Geoff Ramsey, who mistook him for Ray Narvaez Jr. After he left, taking Gavin Free with him, he soon was "killed" during a battle with Ellora and her Evil Verse Counterpart. During the battle, Yoko made her feelings public, and afterwards, Grif moved into Yoko's house, bringing Gavin as well. They soon got a dog, Sparky, which randomly began talking out of the blue. He met a vampire by the name of Angelus, who he tolerated until Angelus betrayed them, and assisted Yoko in killing him. Eventually Yoko's house was assaulted and self-destructed after Church unwittingly led a UNSC strike force to it.

Yoko was then presumed killed shortly afterwards in a separate encounter with Project Freelancer. He then said goodbye to Gavin, who had decided he overstayed his welcome, but would ultimately return a few months later. He then discovered the lost city of Atlantis, and inadvertently brought the Wraith through the rift to alternate realities. He then met Jenn Grif, a daughter of his from an alternate reality and worked with her to develop a weapon to destroy the rift the Wraith used to get to their reality. Due to her deteriorating health, Grif was forced to put her into cryostasis to prevent her from dying. Shortly after this, Yomako, whom he had lost all track of, managed to find him, and the two quickly began to argue and disagree. Grif eventually managed to talk some sense into his stepdaughter. Grif eventually found Yoko and married her, resuming life with her after her memories returned.

After defeating the Wraith with Jenn temporarily out of stasis, he spent nearly 15 years finding a cure for her, losing track of Gavin along the way. When he returned to cure Jenn with Yoko, he found that Atlantis had been broken into, and Gavin had been forced into a stasis pod. Reviving the two of them, they set the auto-destruct and fled.

Following this, Grif entered a "semi-retirement", spending most of his time at home with his family, but frequently finding himself coming to solve various problems in the galaxy. (To be expanded when the author finally gets around to writing those tales)